Sarah’s Story

Published October 7, 2012 by The Creative Outpost

There are rules that people believe divorced couples should adhere too.  What if people made their own rules?  Scott and I have done just that and here is part of our story and now Sarah’s story.

We were married for 12 years and because our marriage was better than 90% of the married couples we knew, it made it difficult for people to understand our decision to divorce.  We got along very well while married as well as after the divorce. We just aged and realized that we wanted different things in life, so we sat down, made decisions together, and figured out a plan that worked best for our family.  Flash forward three years…

Have you ever been at a social gathering and there is one person in the crowd that everyone is drawn too?  That describes Scott’s girlfriend, Sarah.  She is incredibly sweet , funny and genuine.  A few years ago, Sarah experienced a tragic loss, when her husband Randall unexpectedly died.  Randall and Sarah created two beautiful children together.  A little girl named Maggie and a little boy named Henry.  I can’t imagine what it was like for Sarah when the firefighters came to her door to tell her the tragic news that her husband never woke-up after fighting two fires earlier that day.  I am sure at times, she felt as though, her pain would swallow her up whole.

I think her healing began when Scott and her started dating last year.  It was a first for me.  It was the first time that I had seen Scott fall in love, and it was the first time that I had seen my children fall in love.  My children liked her from the very beginning, and as their relationship developed, I saw them go from liking her to loving her as family.

Yesterday, there was a fundraiser in honor of Sarah’s husband.   I was sad and happy for her at the same time.  I know in her heart, she was hurting that Randall was not with them, and at the same time happy with the family she has created with Scott.  She probably thought she would never experience love again.   I truly think people are mistaken if they think there can only be one true love in their lives.  Love does not have any limitations unless people impose them.

I get asked a lot by friends if it bothers me seeing them together. I know the scripted answer should be yes, but when I look into my heart the answer is no.  I love her as family.  It creates a warm sensation in my chest when I see them together. The boys tell me all the time how much Sarah likes me.  I know it’s true because I feel the same way about her.  Scott and I have broken all of the relationship rules, so why should this be any different?  Sometimes, you have to just let your heart have free rein and create your own rules to live by.

Homecoming Queen

Published September 27, 2012 by The Creative Outpost

Hello everyone! I am back and sassy as ever.  I missed everyone, but I did keep up with your postings:)  I was inspired by a good friend last night regarding my next topic.

Over the years when young women come to my home they always notice the homecoming crown.  Their response is always the same.  Their eyes sparkle with excitement and wistfulness. 

My feelings have stayed constant over the years when contemplating that crown.  It is a mixture of pride and sorrow because every little girl dreams of that special moment, but even at 17-years-old, I felt sad for all the other girls that wanted it so much too. 

I had a school reunion last year, and one of my good friends described in detail what my dress looked like that night.  She also shared that she had been jealous of me in high school.  She thought I was so pretty and popular. 

The funny thing is I would have never thought she felt that way.  We were best friends.  She was very pretty and was popular herself. 

So when young women look wistfully at the crown, I explain to them that in the grand scheme of things being homecoming queen means very little.  It’s just a moment in time.  It doesn’t make you the person you are after high school.  I am happy that I had that moment, but I am proud of graduating college and being a great mother. 

So, all you little girls out there, you are all homecoming queens, you just didn’t get that piece of plastic with the rhinestones that tarnishes over time.

Thanks WB for inspiring to blog again:)

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes Movie

Published July 10, 2012 by The Creative Outpost

 It’s well-known that Tom Cruise follows the faith of Scientology.  I am sure when Katie first met him, she was smitten with his looks and charming personality.  Six years later, the looks and charming personality clashes with reality.  I feel in my heart, with all the current media over Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes separation, it would be a crime to stifle my creativity. 

Can you picture this movie?  The ”Church” watching their every move with 24 hr surveillance?  Still the organization couldn’t foresee what was to happen.  Afterall, they couldn’t expect that the ever smiling, couch jumping, fun-loving couple was having serious troubles.  Well in truth, that is my imagination working, because it is Hollywood and it is Tom’s third marriage.   Anyway, back to the story…(cue the music) 

Katie mapped out and executed her escape perfectly.  Not even the suits could predict this!  Tom Cruise is shocked and heartbroken.  He never saw it coming.  Before his lawyer called to tell him of his impending divorce, the phone rang, “The Voice” is on the other end, informing him of Katie’s departure and detailed instructions on how to proceed. 

Before you judge, please remember what this cult, oops, I mean “Church”, has been through recently with another one of their famous Scientologist, John Travolta, being accused of sexual harassment.   The organization had no choice but to tell Tom to shut the circus down at whatever the cost.  The result was a sudden divorce settlement and vows of parental cooperation between the two parties. 

My mind fills with possibilities of a blockbuster movie that could ensue from this.  Maybe Tom and Katie would even star in the movie.  Just think Tom, you could tithe the profits to your beloved church!

Now, before I get the hackles up of anyone, please keep in mind this post is for fun.  I truly tried to research the Church of Scientology, but I got bored and gave it up, and Tom if you want to ask me out on a date, I truly think I would be a great Scientologist:)  We could be called MessyTom.  Just sayin!

Post It

Published June 21, 2012 by The Creative Outpost

How many Followers and Hits do you get each day? This is a very popular question on the “Off Topic” Forum.   I am always a little surprised at the numbers given.

Publishing The Creative Outpost six months ago, my goal was to share some thoughts and experiences while trying my hand at some creative writing.  Then the bug hit.  The obsession  to see how many hits I could get with each new posting.  I found myself spending literally hours on one post trying to make sure it was perfect.  Some of the criteria for my posts; it had to be creative, funny and sometimes dramatic without the dreaded writing errors.  A new post was expected almost daily, and of course the ultimate dream was to become Freshly Pressed! 

A few months into my journey, I realized that my blog was beginning to feel like that four letter word, “work”.  With experience came the realization that for most people huge stats are not based solely on having a quality site, but are also a result of networking.  Networking largely consist of reading as many blogs as possible, commenting and being active on the *WordPress Forums.    

Six months later, I now write for the sheer pleasure of it.  I positively do not box myself in with a particular theme for branding purposes.

I will never achieve fame and fortune from The Creative Outpost, but I will continue to gain pleasure and pride in my writing.  The relationships that I have gained, in the WordPress community, truly means the world to me.    When I get a notice in my Inbox that a fellow blogger has posted,  I eagerly read it because I want to, and not because I want higher stats.

*Joining in on the forums should be approached with caution!

http://messymusingsdotnet.com/2012/06/12/forum-bullies/

“My Beloved”

Published June 13, 2012 by The Creative Outpost

I was 21-years-old and finishing up college when I became pregnant. I wasn’t prepared to have a child and neither was the baby’s father. It was the hardest decision I ever made, but I decided to give the baby up for adoption. When it was time to deliver, I braced myself for the heartbreak of saying goodbye to my baby girl. I had purchased a heart-shaped locket to give to her, so someday she would hopefully know that I did love her, when I made that difficult decision. I decided to leave the information regarding her adoption open to her new parents, so if she ever decided to find me it would be possible.

The day I delivered her was the happiest and saddest day of my life. She was so beautiful. She had a full head of dark black hair and a heart-shaped face. I had spent a lot of time selecting parents for my biological daughter. They were both educated, successful and more importantly kind and ready to be parents. I handed over my baby girl and gave them the heart-shaped locket with the inscription that I had put so much thought into that read, “My Beloved”.

Five years later, I had a successful career and was happily married. I had never forgotten my baby girl but trusted that I had made the right decision. Even with my current success and stability, I still believed I had made the right decision. I often wondered if the parents would contact me someday. My husband and I discovered that we could not conceive a child. After much thought it occurred to me that this was also an opportunity for an unprepared mother, a child that needed a loving home and for a mother that wanted a child.

We contacted an adoption agency and went through the lengthy process. There were several times we were expecting to bring a baby home but things always fell through. Our adoption agent called one day with an unexpected suggestion. She had a five-year-old girl who had lost both of her parents and needed a home. She knew that we wanted a baby, but wanted us to consider adopting an older child. It didn’t take long for me to realize that this was the blessing we had been waiting for!

We got together with the agent and finalized everything. It was a difficult story she shared with us. The little girl’s family had adopted her when she was a baby and had been killed in an accident leaving behind their daughter with no one to care for her.

The day had arrived. We waited anxiously and excitedly for the little girl’s arrival. It was time, the doorbell chimed and we went to meet our daughter. She was beautiful. Long black hair with a heart-shaped face. It was as if God had sent this beautiful child to me to fill the hole in my heart. That’s when I saw a shimmer peeking out from around her neck. What could the odds be of this little girl wearing a heart-shaped locket? I asked her timidly if I could look at the beautiful necklace. Her little face lit up with this request and with hands shaking I reached forward and opened the tiny locket. There inside was the inscription I had so thoughtfully written five years earlier, “My Beloved.”

Forum Bullies

Published June 12, 2012 by The Creative Outpost
English: A Bully Free Zone sign - School in Be...

Image via Wikipedia

We have all experienced being bullied in our lives. Sometimes we are the victims and sometimes the aggressor. What spurs people to bully? Does it make us feel better about ourselves? If we are bullied as children are we more likely to become a bully as an adult?

My 12-year-old son was bullied unmercifully last year at school. As seen in recent media this is a common occurrence that theoretically is no longer tolerated. I called the school and addressed the situation to no avail. Eventually, you give your child tools to help them navigate through those situations. You also tell your child that it will get better when they are adults. It doesn’t, but how we choose to deal with it does.

Recently, I have noticed a new outlet for bullies. Forum bullies. As a newbie, I have been more of an observer on the forum then a participator. Everyone starts posting with the belief and intent to share their ideas or feelings with others. Whether it is philosophy or the daily trials and tribulations, we share and hope others take away something from it. So we post and wait with abated breath for the comments and followers to come. Then you hear it, the cricket sound, “chirp chirp.” Now I have to admit, I have been pleasantly surprised at the response my posts have received. Much to my chagrin, the smallest of affirmations, sends my happy meter through the roof!

Like most of us, I decided to venture into the forum. After all, what better way to spend our time then with others we share a common passion! Most of us decide to join in the fray of commentary on the forum and our first question is usually the same. “How do I get followers?”  Now if you are one of the unlucky ones, you make the mistake of typing in all caps, “PLEASE READ MY NEW BLOG.” This is a huge mistake. You will immediately get a response back asking why you are typing in all caps because this is akin to shouting in blogger’s language. Among other common newbie errors is asking for instructions. This question will bring on a resounding response of, “there are tutorials provided by WordPress or figure it out yourself!” You might even hear a rapid-firing of vents from an experienced blogger complaining about how when they started out they had to figure it all out for themselves and maybe you should get off your butt and give that a try. Any of this sound familiar?

Experienced bloggers post a wealth of knowledge and lively entertainment and do deserve admiration and respect.  Forum bullies should be ignored and not rewarded. What is the reward of being a forum bully? Are people sitting in their pajamas with a hot steaming cup of coffee just waiting to pounce and show their state of superiority? Does one gain pleasure from this activity? I may never know the answer, but I think we should support and teach one another. If I ever become an experienced blogger, I hope that I can share my knowledge and make the transitions for a newbie a little less painful. I am but one person, but I will continue to be supportive and kind and if that makes me weak then so be it. I look forward to reading everyone’s blogs from experienced writers to newbies and will continue to participate in the forum. Now in summary, I say to all my fellow newbies, “BLOG ON!”

disclaimer:  Not all experienced bloggers are bullies :)

Dating Fiasco

Published June 4, 2012 by The Creative Outpost

It’s that time again….

 I can’t decide if I should try online dating. The first time I tried, it was a disaster.  I always do a background check which results in domestic abuse ect.    I really want to met someone intelligent but it is scary meeting someone.  I guess I should put forth real effort..

Also, if I see a pictures of a man standing shirtless in front of a mirror taking his profile picture then I’m going to run for the hills.

I NEED cuddle time!!!!  Why can’t this be easier. There are millions and trillions of people in this world.

Anyway, this is my night-time rambling, so I will say good night to all. 

Little Tid Bits

Published May 28, 2012 by The Creative Outpost

I was watching a rerun of Grey’s Anatomy, and they were listing five things about their loved ones that other people may not know, so I decided to make my own list of my sons and I.

Wyatt (age 10):

1.  He likes for doors to be shut in the house, even when there is no one in the room, like the bathroom.

2. He hates to be dirty.

3. He loves to be around little kids and is extremely patient with them.

4. He gives the best back-rubs of any person I know.

5. He likes black ankle socks.

Hunter (age 13)

1.  He acts out scenes from movies, like being possessed.

2. He is the most well-adjusted person I know regardless of what is thrown his way.

3. He can speak in a British accent to perfection.

4. He pays attention to his nutrition.

5.  He loves the movie, “The Notebook”.

Chris (age 38)

1. I like for my home to be clean with things in its place.

2. I sucked my thumb as a child and still have a favorite blanky.

3. I have a desire to meet people from different places in the world and wonder what their lives are like from day-to-day.

4. I haven’t seen or spoken to my mother in three years.

5. I follow rules and always do the speed limit.

Bunkers or Bonkers

Published April 24, 2012 by The Creative Outpost
American family watching TV (cropped)

American family watching TV (cropped) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I have been watching documentaries highlighting survivalist that are determined to be alive when no-one else will be.  I must confess, I find this slightly puzzling.  I appreciate their spirit and it has been bred into us the “fight or flight” syndrome, but what are they going to be fighting for?

Just picture, you and your family, which could consist of you, a dog or cat, and the town sirens start going off.  You turn on the T.V. and you find out that you have only hours to prepare for a mega volcano, earthquakes, tsunamis, solar flares, etc.  You get the idea.  Depending on where you are stationed on earth highlights your certainly terrifying scenario.

I would assume most of us in here in rural Missouri would find all of our loved ones, and maybe hunker down in a basement, but I believe a lot of us would probably try to make the best of the last few hours just by being together.  It would also cross our mind as to why we didn’t spend the $80,000 or better on our own little bunker that would be supplied with food and ammo; however, what is the outcome at the end?

Everyone and everything that existed for you is gone.  I have heard it said that there are worse things in life besides death, and I would say that is probably one of them.  I do keep in mind these survivalist planning has become their whole world.  They eat and breath that stuff and it’s probably enjoying to them.  I would think that it would be hard to never really be able to plan a future and dreading what would happen.

When I was watching tv that night it was actually pretty depressing.  I can see how some of those scenarios made sense, but if I sat everyday and pondered that tragic end, then I wouldn’t be living at all.  I can see how mind consuming it could be, if a person let it.

I give kudos to the people who are now building the bunkers.  They have the best of both worlds.  They enjoy their doomsday fodder and can now make a buck off of it, which they will need, “WHEN THE WORLD DOESN’T END”     Just Sayin…..

Personalities At Work

Published April 18, 2012 by The Creative Outpost

Let’s dissect some of the most prominent behavioral irritants we see on a daily basis.

(The Moaper). This person wants everybody to know how shitty their life is at that moment. The frustrating thing is they have lost their “fight or flight” instinct, which is so genetically wired into most of us we can’t feel anything but annoyance by this obviously lack in gene chain.

(The Attention Seeker). This person always has to be the loudest. They want the whole hallway to know exactly how much fun they had in great detail. It doesn’t matter if you are trying to work and concentrate, they need their moment. These historians take great pride in their craft. I am assuming they came from a strong genetic pool of storytellers in their cave dwellings, which probably explains their voices echoing off the halls at work.

(The egocentrical). This person has a one track mind. No matter if they start the conversation or join in it is ALL about them. In fact for entertainment purposes you can say something outlandish that has nothing to do with them and see the spin coming. Quality entertainment!

(The One-Upper). Now this person does have the classical traits of the egocentrically challenged person only not to be outshone, they have to interject and give their spin, but they have done it bigger and better!! This may be entertaining too on a slow day. You can start the game off with, “well once….” and see how the story goes from there.

(The Suck-Up). My favorite for last. You are sitting in the meeting, and they always say what the boss wants to hear, period. Always piping in with an answer that is not in their field of expertise, and I say that loosely, and they know exactly what is needed with their vast experience.

These are just a few examples. Do you deal with any of these personalities or perhaps you may deal with multiple personalities all rolled into one? Please share!

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