There are rules that people believe divorced couples should adhere too. What if people made their own rules? Scott and I have done just that and here is part of our story and now Sarah’s story.
We were married for 12 years and because our marriage was better than 90% of the married couples we knew, it made it difficult for people to understand our decision to divorce. We got along very well while married as well as after the divorce. We just aged and realized that we wanted different things in life, so we sat down, made decisions together, and figured out a plan that worked best for our family. Flash forward three years…
Have you ever been at a social gathering and there is one person in the crowd that everyone is drawn too? That describes Scott’s girlfriend, Sarah. She is incredibly sweet , funny and genuine. A few years ago, Sarah experienced a tragic loss, when her husband Randall unexpectedly died. Randall and Sarah created two beautiful children together. A little girl named Maggie and a little boy named Henry. I can’t imagine what it was like for Sarah when the firefighters came to her door to tell her the tragic news that her husband never woke-up after fighting two fires earlier that day. I am sure at times, she felt as though, her pain would swallow her up whole.
I think her healing began when Scott and her started dating last year. It was a first for me. It was the first time that I had seen Scott fall in love, and it was the first time that I had seen my children fall in love. My children liked her from the very beginning, and as their relationship developed, I saw them go from liking her to loving her as family.
Yesterday, there was a fundraiser in honor of Sarah’s husband. I was sad and happy for her at the same time. I know in her heart, she was hurting that Randall was not with them, and at the same time happy with the family she has created with Scott. She probably thought she would never experience love again. I truly think people are mistaken if they think there can only be one true love in their lives. Love does not have any limitations unless people impose them.
I get asked a lot by friends if it bothers me seeing them together. I know the scripted answer should be yes, but when I look into my heart the answer is no. I love her as family. It creates a warm sensation in my chest when I see them together. The boys tell me all the time how much Sarah likes me. I know it’s true because I feel the same way about her. Scott and I have broken all of the relationship rules, so why should this be any different? Sometimes, you have to just let your heart have free rein and create your own rules to live by.